The Shattering of Dreams

And of all times I had to go fuck up my music practical prelims. The end result was a walloping from a Simon Cowell like guy. His comments were much and long and the usual stuff about intonation and rhythm and pitch except in a more scathing. To sum up all his words, he basically said what I was playing didn't sounded like the violin, every single rhythm and tone basics was wrong and that if this was an audition to get into his school (he's the head of NAFA), he wouldn't even think about excepting me as a first year student.

Well, the most parts of his comments I could take it. The biggest blows to me were when he said "You don't practise your violin" and "If this was an audition for NAFA, I wouldn't even have accepted you"

Well, well, the harsh realities of life. I probably practised more than any of my classmates but the first comment I get was that I didn't practise enough. Well... nothing much I can say there.

The thing was I got back the actual score yesterday and no surprise I finally, somehow managed to fail music practical. A component which Mrs Soh said was impossible to fail. There, I've done it. FAILED THE BLOODY THING. Before all the other papers have even started, I've failed it. Anyway, the severity of this failure means I've to get full marks to scrap A for music which is near impossible. So that pretty much means the great Berklee dream has been shattered. Something that has been on my mind since 2 years ago is just... well.... gone..... I guess I'm still pretty calm about it. The seriousness of this matter hasn't really sunk in but when it does, tears will fall but well.... I guess I should have expected it sooner rather than later. Considering a career change now. I really don't know what I want to do. After 2 years with all my heart and soul set for music, this comes at a pretty bad time.

But.. haix... what can I do? Life goes on... I'll just take each day as it comes as my mei always tells me to do..