2005.....Singapore Conference Hall
Catholic High School...... GOLD.....
I remember that scene vividly..... The people from other schools were cheering and clapping yet all was glum for the Cat High CO...
Fast forward to 2007-04-19.... Singapore Conference Hall
Victoria Junior College...... GOLD.....
Where was the two words I wanted to hear most?? Where was the "WITH HONOURS"....
This time it was worst.... Tears started falling from the girls in front of me.....
Disappointed we were, disappointed I was......
WHAT THE HELL do I have to do to be on the top in terms of music....
WHAT THE HELL do I have to do to get that ultimate feeling, the feeling of finally winning, that feeling of achievement and satisfaction....
Recalling 2006....
CO Concert... I was so damn disappointed with my substandard performance during the CO Concert at SCH....
CHMA.... The winning band is.... P.I.J..... Against left disappointed....
2007....
Music class, VJC.....
Andrew, your sense of phrasing was wrong. You need to rework this piece, its quite bad....
What do all these disappointments have in common.. They were all part of music. Part of my supposedly niche, part of my interest, part of my life...
Time and time again I was rendered disappointed with the results.
The feeling of being on top can only remain a dream for me...
What does it take to feel like P.I.J, like CHSSB, like VJChoir, like Loh Jun Hong, or even Gil Shaham or even Itzhak Perlman?
I want to stand on stage and play my heart out and be satisfied with the ultimate results... I want to win competitions, I want to be able to stand on stage and not feel nervous at all... With the flick of my bow, I want to play Paganini's Caprices. No 1, No. 24, I want to play La Campanella, I want to play Sarasate's Gypsy Airs, I wanna play Ravel's Tzigane and ultimately I wanna play Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto in D and the Butterfly Lover's Concertoes...
These are my ultimate dreams. Most would call me a dreamer... Dreaming of the impossible..
Maybe its true, these are just dreams... Bring yourself back to reality, you can hardly play in tune, you can hardly thrill as fast, your bow is barely correct....
FIGHT these stumbling blocks... Attack them... DESTROY THEM!!! I'M KING... I DON'T want to be disappointed again...
Guitar Perfect 5th concert and VJ Music Programme Concert remains....
Come on, be realistic....
I ain't no child prodigy, I ain't no perfect pitch....
Internal conflict....
I expected the "the learning process is the most important part" words from Mrs Soh...
To me, these are just excuses, they are just self consolation. Only for the weak, only for those who have lost, something for them to fall back upon and console themselves....
MUSIC!!! WHY are you treating me like this????
BEST VIOLINIST ON EARTH
ASIA'S NUMBER 1 HEAVENLY BAND
Its too late....... Is it?
Friday, April 20, 2007
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4 sketches:
HAHA dun wry there is nothing that is impossible in this world, u can achieve anyting as long as you set your mind to it, dun give up, and work towards it the right way (: But the problem is wether you achieve it sooner or later, depending on how talented you are, but yet again talent is just a matter or practising the right way. Some people are just luckier to start practicing the right way. Oh well, but as long as you dun giv up you will succedd anyway. But you must ask yourself this, is it worth spending all your time in someting you are not talented in rather than spending it on something that you are talented in and could achive great heights faster and thus hav free time to pick up something else? Well its up to you really, if you really want it so dearly, by all means go for it man! But dun ever forget you can always keep doing something you are passionate about, even though you are not as good at it, but in your own free time. The thing that you like and the thing you can do best may not be the same thing. Since it is easy to do the thing you do best, y not do it anw and spend the extra time doing what you like. (:
p/s: try adding a tagboard
johnson
Hello yezi here. Jiayou! What mrs soh said isnt for weaklings, it's to tell you to be patient with yourself and don't give up. Let's work hard together! :) And if I can I will learn the butterfly lovers concerto! And maybe we can play it together one day? :)
halo^^
nice blog...
keep it upz..^^
hmm..
mind to tel me how u do da bekground??
damn beautiful~
teach me plz..
though there is a certain satisfaction when it comes to winning competitions, we as musicians shouldn't look forwards to these.
instead we should look forward to SHARE the music and inpire others! :D
it's easier said than done though, bu then over focusing on achievement would limit our music to 'impressing' but if we really want to play it so that others can enjoy what we have, it would be a breakthrough into 'expressing'
always express, never impress.
anyway, hope you feel better about those man. you can't change the past, but you can let those experience make you stronger~!
those things you've mentioned like CO and Lithium in CHMA, they are group performances, it's a lot more difficult in a group becuase some of the members many not be as good musically or technically or they do not have the right mindset/ right motives to be on stage.
you're very inspiring, i can recall the crazy times where you would play your guitar non-stop and prac your violin non-stop. i'm really happy that i've saw that side of you and i'm certain that a part of me subconsciously changed as well :D:D as a result of being inspired by you
once a musician, forever a musician! go on abang chua!
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