The closing chapters

Woke up this morning to the drum beats of the VS lion dance. Saw this white light shining thru the window. What a wonderful and beautiful day I thought. Made me extremely happy for some unknown reason. Haha.
Gave my melody to Ming Yao to write the lyrics.

Anyway I just came back from College Day. I got an award for topping Music last year.
As I was sitting there waiting for the event to start, my mind started to wonder and so it flew back some eleven years to the Chung Hwa Presbyterian school hall. Well, it wasn't exactly a school hall, my primary school didn't exactly have a hall. I was just a few classrooms with the walls in the middle removed making it one long room. I sat there on that beautiful morning, on small primary school wooden chairs waiting to get an award for getting second place in class. Lost to first place Xiuling because she got 100 for all subjects and I got 100 for all subjects except 1 which I got 98.

Yeah so that was the very beginning of school life and little would I have imagined that 11 years later I would find that the white shirt and dark blue shorts have changed to beige shirt and pants, in a whole different country, quite different culture, totally different friends and very very different setting, a performance theater with huge comfortable chairs full of comfortable paddings waiting to get an award from some senior minister of some neighbouring country that was Singapore and dreaming of studying music and having a career in music. I wanted to become a lot of things when I was seven, among them a gardener, a rubbish collector, a scientist, an astronaut, a computer technician and an engineer.
I never got another academic award between those 11 years so I think its apt that I started and ended my school life with an academic award.
Of course back in those days, the award just didn't mean too much to me. It was just another thing in life but today, this music award means so much to me due to this highly competitive environment that I've landed myself in where everybody competes for all that papers.
But I'm not thinking about it in that context. This piece of paper is very much to me the zenith of my pathetic VJ life that has been filled with countless failures from the extremely huge disappointment in failing to get into ODAC, watching them have so much fun amongst themselves, failing to achieve anything for myself in Guitar, for having made so many wrong choices and of course most importantly for failing my studies so badly. I've indeed dropped so low.
I guess when I leave VJ, I'll bring with me all the lessons that I've learnt from this countless failures and of course all the friendship that I've made in VJ. I dare say that I only started having great Singaporean friends in VJ and I now have more than 1 hand worth of Singaporean female friends. Haha.
Some how or rather, today's award doesn't really come as a comfort to me because there are many could have beens if Gwen had not fallen sick and didn't take the papers or if Melodie had not written out of point for her essay. I say this because the truth is if I'm like doing very badly for music now. Rock solid bottom of class and at least 2 grades away from the next closest person. I'm not doing my essays properly and of course, my violin is always letting me down. I'm chasing the rest easily 30 marks for my music practical.
So this is such an embarrassment for me and especially with Opus 2 coming up next week and plenty of outsiders coming to watch and even music students from other school, my common sense tells me to pull out from this thing and stop making a fool for myself and showing off the gulf in standard between the violinist and the pianists and soprano and flautist.
But I guess my heart just says go in and just whack. Play all the wrong notes and after that, keep my head up high and just be satisfied and accept my shortcomings.
Anyway just to promote my concert

Opus 2, VJC Music Students' Concert

Friday Night, 1st August

Performance Theater.


Watch out for the live ad on Monday. Please do come. If you are not there to support me, at least you can enjoy the music presented by the rest.