I guess what copykate said is true that I put too much pressure on myself to perform well and I guess I haven't had many places to seek comfort and solace. In that sense, I think I'm pretty amazing. Yes! Self-praise. The average teenager going through what I'm feeling would have jumped off a building but here I am still living with hope for the unknown.
People say bad things happen in threes. But bad things have been going on for so long now that I've already failed to notice the good things happening. (ARE THERE ANY?) Like ex-classmates and faraway friends saying hello on my blog. My Wonderful Tonight and How Deep Is Your Love for the guitar concert was pulled. Pretty much leaves me out of the limelight. Its sad. I know. I very much wanted to perform that gig. But I guess at least I still have some items. My bassist was left with no item. Cheer up dude. I know exactly how you feel, happened to me in sec 4. All I can say is you still have a long way to go and lots of time left unlike me who's becoming old.
And yes, tomorrow is judgement day. The day of our PW results. Judging by how things have been turning recently, I shouldn't been feeling optimistic for it and I must admit that yes, there are some doubts in my heart which normally wouldn't be there.
I know that I've put in my very best for my PW and I shouldn't have any regrets but then again I don't think in a normal way. Trying my very best for PW will make me crave for the A even more. And yes, I must say that I won't be able to accept anything other than an A. Please la, whichever God that is punishing me or putting me through these hurdles in life, I think I've learnt a lot from them and shouldn't it be time for some glory now? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!
Apart from that I've been moving back towards English songs again in the past few weeks. At this point I must announce that I've gotten tickets to Mayday's concert in Singapore. YAY. Been moving back to a lot of duets from the 80's and 90's. Bee Gees, Bryan Adams etc etc. My iTunes never fails to shuffle some emo Josh Gorban or old Chinese songs at night. And I'm finding Kammermusik real irritating.
Anyway, been really addicted to this song since I heard it that day. Its So Close by Jon Mclaughlin from the movie Enchanted. I like the jazz infused chords which gives it this heighten sense of sophisticatedness and the singing is really emotional and the orchestra scoring is just so lush. Alan Menken charms me yet again as he has done so on so many occasions watching my favourite Disney cartoons.
Anyway here is the song,
There is this one thing that I realised about relationships is that I must get to know the person a bit first before making any moves. The problem is I don't have a chance/don't dare to approach/don't know if I should get to know the person better.
Anyway, good night.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Of Strings and Wood
VJC Guitar Ensemble presents.....
Perfect Fifth,
Our annual guitar concert features a diverse range of music from the classical era to modern rock.
VJC Performance Theater
16 May, Friday
Tickets at 10 bucks.
drop me a message if you want tickets. I'll be playing Santana's Smooth, The Click Five's Jenny, Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight, Elvis Presley's I Can't Help Falling in Love With You, Jay Chou's Cai Hong and Secret and Mayday's Zhi Zu.
Phew what a list. Hope I make it through the auditions.
Perfect Fifth,
Our annual guitar concert features a diverse range of music from the classical era to modern rock.
VJC Performance Theater
16 May, Friday
Tickets at 10 bucks.
drop me a message if you want tickets. I'll be playing Santana's Smooth, The Click Five's Jenny, Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight, Elvis Presley's I Can't Help Falling in Love With You, Jay Chou's Cai Hong and Secret and Mayday's Zhi Zu.
Phew what a list. Hope I make it through the auditions.
Reflections
And here I am, back in this blog typing my thoughts away.
I must say that I'm going through a tough period of time. Failing in many of the things that I'm doing and being worried about a lot of things.
Common tests came and went and my results were not bad. They were absolutely dreadful. Failed Maths, Chem. Lowest in class for Music. Barely passed Physics. Disappointing GP. The worst thing of all was Chemistry. I spent all my time studying for it. 2 freaking weeks. I doubt the others mugged that hard for Chem. I was inspired by a new and much better teacher and wanted to do well for it. And it comes back all disappointing and in red. And to top it off, Mr Lim walks up to me and say study harder Andrew....
Then there was the joy of getting into Music Fest semis. And the extreme pain and sadness in getting booted out of the semis. I guess I took it especially hard because I really wanted to achieve something in VJ. Something to show that my time at VJ hadn't been totally wasted. And I failed. I guess maybe some of them are blaming me a bit with my refusal to change a vocallist for the semis. I was never that brutal and ruthless to drop people coldly, prefering to give people a chance to improve.
Then there is this constant worry about having achieved nothing in VJ. Pathetic CCA membership, no leadership position, no significant achievement, no CIP hours. I guess what my teacher said is coming true. Its going to be a blank testimonial for me. It is that pathetic. Some people complain that they have to come home from school late everyday and they are always tired. They don't understand the guy who reaches home at 2-3 plus everyday with nothing to do and plays his guitar to himself and resorts to playing computer games and sleeping.
With my current position now, Berklee seems so far away......
Maybe I should reconsider my options. Poly courses interests me quite a lot. But then why am I doing my A levels for....
I must say that I'm going through a tough period of time. Failing in many of the things that I'm doing and being worried about a lot of things.
Common tests came and went and my results were not bad. They were absolutely dreadful. Failed Maths, Chem. Lowest in class for Music. Barely passed Physics. Disappointing GP. The worst thing of all was Chemistry. I spent all my time studying for it. 2 freaking weeks. I doubt the others mugged that hard for Chem. I was inspired by a new and much better teacher and wanted to do well for it. And it comes back all disappointing and in red. And to top it off, Mr Lim walks up to me and say study harder Andrew....
Then there was the joy of getting into Music Fest semis. And the extreme pain and sadness in getting booted out of the semis. I guess I took it especially hard because I really wanted to achieve something in VJ. Something to show that my time at VJ hadn't been totally wasted. And I failed. I guess maybe some of them are blaming me a bit with my refusal to change a vocallist for the semis. I was never that brutal and ruthless to drop people coldly, prefering to give people a chance to improve.
Then there is this constant worry about having achieved nothing in VJ. Pathetic CCA membership, no leadership position, no significant achievement, no CIP hours. I guess what my teacher said is coming true. Its going to be a blank testimonial for me. It is that pathetic. Some people complain that they have to come home from school late everyday and they are always tired. They don't understand the guy who reaches home at 2-3 plus everyday with nothing to do and plays his guitar to himself and resorts to playing computer games and sleeping.
With my current position now, Berklee seems so far away......
Maybe I should reconsider my options. Poly courses interests me quite a lot. But then why am I doing my A levels for....
Friday, February 15, 2008
Welcome to Vertigo
Compare this picture of the band U2 above (Bono is on the right) with the picture below. Don't you think there are some similarities? Especially between the guy dressed in all black and Bono?(Ignore the bewildered face)
Anyway I felt this photo above that was taken at the Duomo looked like the album covers of rock bands with the lead singer always standing in a weird sideways pose and the drummer always the one behind. There is actually a U2 photo with Bono in that exact same pose but I can't find it though.
Miles and miles
Well, the event that I've been looking forward to, Chinese New Year has came and gone just like that and so normal programming resumes.
Before CNY, we had a stay over at Cheryl's. Although I was pretty much conked out by the time they started talking, I caught enough pieces of conversation that made me realised I'm actually quite lucky and fortunate and leading a good life after all. I've a target and a goal that I want to achieve. I in a way have a purpose in life (more about this later) and I guess whatever friendship, relationships, familyships that I have are pretty stable. And I've never done anything really bad in my life so far, makes we feel extremely blessed and thankful.
The only thing I'm worried about at this point of time is that I've no plan B. I don't know what to do if Berklee rejects me.
Anyway, about the purpose in life thing. That day when I was queuing up for Mee Poh in school, I was looking at the uncle, watching him take orders then preparing the noodles then it suddenly struck me that why was he doing what he was doing. What is his purpose here? To feed us? Then what was our purpose here? To learn? Then what was our purpose to learn? To earn money? Then what was the purpose of earning money? What is our purpose on Earth? Why are we placed at a specific place and this specific time? What happens beyond now? What does our future bring? Will one of us die tomorrow? WHY THE HECK ARE WE HERE? WHY ARE SOME ENTITIES HUMAN WHILE OTHERS ANIMALS? WHO ELSE IS OUT THERE? WHY? WHY? WHY?
So many questions, so little answers....
I'm not saying this because I'm frustrated with life or anything but really, what is our purpose here? What role do we play?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
First three days of CNY was pretty much mundane. Went to Ahma's house everyday. Didn't even go visiting anywhere. Didn't gamble. No cards. NO mahjong. I guess Malaysians are not so addicted to the game than Singaporeans. Anyway, it was the perfect opportunity for me to really chill and relax and enjoy it all. So I was pretty much satisfied with it.
The afternoon of the third night met up with Wei Xiang and Jiun Farn and Edwin and etc. Then at night went to Cikgu Teo's place. Could tell that she was quite bored. Cos we kinda self invited ourselves to her house and it was only like a place for us to catch up and talk, leaving her out. But I tried keeping the conversation going with her. Catch up with some really old friends that I haven't seen in the 6 years I left CHP or in the 4 years since I came to Singapore. Couldn't remember some of their names. Anyway I had a great time.
After that had some nerve wrecking moments in a Kancil. I'm glad to say I survived the galloping-like-a-horse-car and the engine-mati-car 7 times. I'm still reluctant to believe that the driver didn't pay under counter money for the license. Amazing. Which makes me think, I CAN'T WAIT TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE. Which leads me to think, Singapore kinda sien already. Having to put up with all the fakeness and unnaturalness is tiring. Its time for a return to the past. Sort of like neoclassicism. Malaysian friends are really different. I don't know how to explain but just different. Better....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Valentine's Day the girls were giving chocolates and cookies to everybody. I survived on chocolates and cookies that day. Feel a bit bad having not given anybody anything. But I gave Louise the cup from Malaysia and some more new year cookies. I guess she's quite satisfied. Haven't eaten the dark chocolates she given me yet. Got to wait for the correct mood.
Guitar Ensemble had our performance. My wonderful classmates failed to remember that I had a performance (as usual)(most Singaporeans always very last minute and don't bother to remember a lot of things)(not that Malaysians don't)(SOMEBODY CONVENIENTLY FORGOT TO PASS ME SAT NOTES) and didn't turn up. BUT never mind. Don't want to care too much about that. I performed Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight playing the lead guitar and Lifehouse's You and Me playing the shaker. Wonderful Tonight was okay. Considering the number of times I could have made a mistake but did not. At least I retained the same key despite some screw ups to my solo guitar improvisation. Phew..
And I witnessed some not so happy things happening on Valentine's Day. Oh well, harsh realities of life I guess. I wanted to eat the cookies though. But looking at the way he threw it in the bin, better not ask.
After school, I went jamming with my Music Fest band! Edward, Jansen, Wai Hong, Ian and me! First time jamming with such pro people. Within a few trieds our song Smooth by Rob Thomas and Carlos Santana was already quite good. Cool. I'm quite confident for this years Music Fest. Must win. Else throw face.
Cross country meet today. I was supposed to walk the whole way with the guys but lost them so I ran seriously but still finished 357 position. I felt that I ran with the same pace last year but I got 120++ last year. Which goes to show my very TERRIBLE fitness state. I keep telling myself I should train I should train but fail to do it. My long term plan since last year has already come and gone today and I've still achieved nothing. Anyway my long term plan was to consistently run 10km every week and then this year be the dark horse and trash the crossers or smth but I was far from it. More than 300 positions to be exact.
NAPFA's next week and I still can't do pull ups...
Went to eat with Roy today at Kim Moh at Laguna Park. Its famous for the beef noodles. It really is nice but super expensive. 9 bucks per small plate. Not even full.
Before CNY, we had a stay over at Cheryl's. Although I was pretty much conked out by the time they started talking, I caught enough pieces of conversation that made me realised I'm actually quite lucky and fortunate and leading a good life after all. I've a target and a goal that I want to achieve. I in a way have a purpose in life (more about this later) and I guess whatever friendship, relationships, familyships that I have are pretty stable. And I've never done anything really bad in my life so far, makes we feel extremely blessed and thankful.
The only thing I'm worried about at this point of time is that I've no plan B. I don't know what to do if Berklee rejects me.
Anyway, about the purpose in life thing. That day when I was queuing up for Mee Poh in school, I was looking at the uncle, watching him take orders then preparing the noodles then it suddenly struck me that why was he doing what he was doing. What is his purpose here? To feed us? Then what was our purpose here? To learn? Then what was our purpose to learn? To earn money? Then what was the purpose of earning money? What is our purpose on Earth? Why are we placed at a specific place and this specific time? What happens beyond now? What does our future bring? Will one of us die tomorrow? WHY THE HECK ARE WE HERE? WHY ARE SOME ENTITIES HUMAN WHILE OTHERS ANIMALS? WHO ELSE IS OUT THERE? WHY? WHY? WHY?
So many questions, so little answers....
I'm not saying this because I'm frustrated with life or anything but really, what is our purpose here? What role do we play?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
First three days of CNY was pretty much mundane. Went to Ahma's house everyday. Didn't even go visiting anywhere. Didn't gamble. No cards. NO mahjong. I guess Malaysians are not so addicted to the game than Singaporeans. Anyway, it was the perfect opportunity for me to really chill and relax and enjoy it all. So I was pretty much satisfied with it.
The afternoon of the third night met up with Wei Xiang and Jiun Farn and Edwin and etc. Then at night went to Cikgu Teo's place. Could tell that she was quite bored. Cos we kinda self invited ourselves to her house and it was only like a place for us to catch up and talk, leaving her out. But I tried keeping the conversation going with her. Catch up with some really old friends that I haven't seen in the 6 years I left CHP or in the 4 years since I came to Singapore. Couldn't remember some of their names. Anyway I had a great time.
After that had some nerve wrecking moments in a Kancil. I'm glad to say I survived the galloping-like-a-horse-car and the engine-mati-car 7 times. I'm still reluctant to believe that the driver didn't pay under counter money for the license. Amazing. Which makes me think, I CAN'T WAIT TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE. Which leads me to think, Singapore kinda sien already. Having to put up with all the fakeness and unnaturalness is tiring. Its time for a return to the past. Sort of like neoclassicism. Malaysian friends are really different. I don't know how to explain but just different. Better....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Valentine's Day the girls were giving chocolates and cookies to everybody. I survived on chocolates and cookies that day. Feel a bit bad having not given anybody anything. But I gave Louise the cup from Malaysia and some more new year cookies. I guess she's quite satisfied. Haven't eaten the dark chocolates she given me yet. Got to wait for the correct mood.
Guitar Ensemble had our performance. My wonderful classmates failed to remember that I had a performance (as usual)(most Singaporeans always very last minute and don't bother to remember a lot of things)(not that Malaysians don't)(SOMEBODY CONVENIENTLY FORGOT TO PASS ME SAT NOTES) and didn't turn up. BUT never mind. Don't want to care too much about that. I performed Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight playing the lead guitar and Lifehouse's You and Me playing the shaker. Wonderful Tonight was okay. Considering the number of times I could have made a mistake but did not. At least I retained the same key despite some screw ups to my solo guitar improvisation. Phew..
And I witnessed some not so happy things happening on Valentine's Day. Oh well, harsh realities of life I guess. I wanted to eat the cookies though. But looking at the way he threw it in the bin, better not ask.
After school, I went jamming with my Music Fest band! Edward, Jansen, Wai Hong, Ian and me! First time jamming with such pro people. Within a few trieds our song Smooth by Rob Thomas and Carlos Santana was already quite good. Cool. I'm quite confident for this years Music Fest. Must win. Else throw face.
Cross country meet today. I was supposed to walk the whole way with the guys but lost them so I ran seriously but still finished 357 position. I felt that I ran with the same pace last year but I got 120++ last year. Which goes to show my very TERRIBLE fitness state. I keep telling myself I should train I should train but fail to do it. My long term plan since last year has already come and gone today and I've still achieved nothing. Anyway my long term plan was to consistently run 10km every week and then this year be the dark horse and trash the crossers or smth but I was far from it. More than 300 positions to be exact.
NAPFA's next week and I still can't do pull ups...
Went to eat with Roy today at Kim Moh at Laguna Park. Its famous for the beef noodles. It really is nice but super expensive. 9 bucks per small plate. Not even full.
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